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Aug. 2, 2005 Aug 9, 2005





Date: Tue, 2 Aug 2005 18:24:51 -0700
Location: work
Music: streaming trance techno
QOTD:
Mood: sad


Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, suddenly I realised my head was full of memories of my paternal grandma. I heard her voice on the tapes she made for us back in 1975, and I saw images of my brother and I playing while the tape recorder was recording us. I recall the feeling of KNOWING we were being taped and so I kept hamming it up. I recall hearing grandma's voice come out of the tape player on the tapes she'd sent us, and I remember exclaiming back at the tape recorder "HI GRAMMA!" as though she was on speakerphone...only speakerphone didn't exist back then...at least in our house.
I was 3 1/2 years old.

As these images went through my brain, it was pleasant. Then, without warning, severe emotion overcame me and my stomach turned as though I'd realised someone had died.

...only...it wasn't gramma I was crying for.

It was my dad...her son.

And no matter how I tried to rationalise with myself that I'd have received a call if my dad died, I couldn't shake the overwhelming grief.

I ended up sobbing for several minutes as I acknowledged the fact that someday my parents WILL die. It's even overwhelming me with emotion right now just to type it all up.

But we all KNOW this about our parents and everyone else on the planet. It's not news to me. I've thought about this before, you know...not like it's the first time it dawned on me. I had to sign my dad's Will for chrissakes.

...Just called my dad; everything's okay with him, but his wife has a torn ligament and pneumonia. She sounded fine though when I talked to her - her usual Virgo-GO-GO-GO self. ;)
They've been super busy running the motel - it's their last year there because some huge business entity bought it from them. So the stress is going to be high to accomodate customers, get used to the idea that they'll have to look for another home (thank gods for the huge RV home they already live 5 months a year in), and all the packing up of their life once more. After that, hopefully by the new year, they can finally relax and dad can enjoy his second retirement.

Back to my irrational emotional outburst last night - sure I know that my parents will die one day. But what hadn't dawned on me til last night was the fact that after my parents die - especially my father - I'll have no one to work hard for to be a success and an accomplishment and someone to be proud of in this world.

Friends and spouses just don't count in that.

I tried to analyse why it's so important to me to have parental units there in order for me to work hard at making something of myself. I wondered if after they leave, will I continue trying.

Goddammit, I'm tearing up again. WTF.

I certainly didn't mean to upset grandma's visit to me last night. She's visited me before, but by the time she comes through to me, my emotions garble it all and I end up crying and she fades off again.

BAH.

Stupid emotions.





Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2005 16:04:00 -0700
Location: work
Music: streaming trance techno
QOTD:
Mood: depressed over money issues again

Something nice before we get started: I will have many nice pictures and even a movie of the ocean, from the trip we took to Carmel. :)

This past weekend, my bf and I were able to finally get away to celebrate being together for five years.

However, things are guaranteed to go wrong during Mercury Retrograde.

Let's start at the very beginning, shall we?

Our anniversary fell on the 14th of July (Bastille Day). George was due that weekend, though, so I told my bf please schedule a weekend getaway for the next weekend.

Well.

George didn't show up until that Monday. And my bf had pushed very hard to secure our weekend away for the very next weekend. So I reluctantly relented and george hadn't even appeared, yet.

So when he showed up on Monday, I thought about it all day and sat my boyfriend down and told him no fucking way is it a good idea to go out of town this coming weekend. I told him how I'd felt really pressured and asked why he felt he needed to celebrate five years ON THE DOT and why was he in such a hurry.

I chalked it up to nookie on The Date Of sort of thing for him.

I also told my bf that in light of all the recent layoffs at work the week of July 4th and July 11th, and the fact that my contract is now finite - due to expire September 30th - I really didn't have the moolah to be going out of town now. He was truly upset over that.

So we cancelled and rescheduled the date. I should have held firm ground, but I caved for a second time.

On July 21, after having my first mild period in years, george woke up and realised I'd been having it easy, and he killed me dead. I had to leave work within an hour of getting there. I came home and spent the day drugged to the gills.

Mercury Retrograde occurred on July 23rd.

Now, I may have said this before, but since my ruling planet is Mercury, I always have a very rough time during Mercury Retrograde. I have an especially rough time the week leading up to and the week coming off of retrograde.
And everything inbetween is well...fucked.

So george went away and the next weekend, on July 29th, we took the day off of work and went out of town for our anniversary weekend getaway.

We were an hour into the drive when I realised we hadn't brought any cold-weather clothing with us, because it's always much colder by the beach.

On the way to Carmel though, we stopped at
The Little Red Barn antique store, and let me tell you, it's a REAL antique store! Not like all the junky type stores purporting to sell antiques, no. This is the real thing. We must have spent an hour in there gawking at stuff! I found an entire collection of books and framed art and photo albums from some woman by the last name of Cree who had moved to California from Indiana. The store owner, Bonnie Turner, told me that Ms. Cree's children had all her stuff stored in a huge pay-by-the-month storage unit which was raided for drugs. The kids who had charge of the stuff went to jail and everything in the storage was confiscated and ended up at the Little Red Barn. Good thing Ms. Cree's passed on from this world, cuz she'd probably have killed them kids.

We got to Carmel after 4pm if I recall, and we checked in at the Edgemere Cottages.

You know how things advertised never look quite as good once experienced in person?

Yeah.

The room we stayed in was The Devon room, and it's not arranged like in the picture, nor is it that cozy as the picture alludes. It looked like it was a converted garage. The wall you don't see shows three closet doors all on the same wall; all hammered together and looking like they used to be storage for the garage. The garage mind you is just to the right of this converted cottage room.

I immediately asked my bf if this would suffice. He said yes. I did my best to like it, knowing that it's Carmel and likely everything else in town was booked.

The lady described our accomodations and led us to the main house to show us where the breakfast would be (but only after we insisted because she didn't feel it was necessary at first!). Along the way, she introduced us to her outdoor cat and made us wait while she whistled to summon her pet hummingbird to the lemon tree in the court yard. She told us about how magical her cat and hummingbird were.

She'd just moments earlier tried to guess my bf's astrological sign as Pisces.

I knew then that we were going to be at the mercy of a total fruit loop all weekend.

By the way, the door of our cottage may face towards the beach, but the beach is two blocks away, down hill, through two blocks of housing. The website info is misleading when it says, "Front door aiming straight to the beach".

What is also not only misleading but a downright LIE is this from the main page of her website, "Edgemere features quaint private cottages..."

The cottages are NOT private as we quickly found out. Our cottage was directly attached to the Picadilly cottage, and the Rosemont cottage is attached to the main house.
The walls are paper thin. We heard guests in the Picadilly cough, clear throats, talk, and moan during sex.

The pull-string fabric window shades hang a full inch away from the windows, allowing for peeping toms.

That night, we discovered the sheets on the queen bed were meant for a double bed, not a queen. I dragged out two spare blankets in the middle of the night in the dark from the closets in the room. The next day, we discovered that one of the extra blankets had a long-since-dead bug carcass stuck to it. Looked like a June Bug. The other extra blanket was full of sand and dirt and dust.

We staggered to the main house to have breakfast with the other people staying at the cottage. There was a couple from Ontario and a couple from Fresno. I did my best to be social. My bf took quite awhile to put on his happy face because of the gross lack of sleep he'd gotten the night before. We both didn't sleep well but he slept a lot less than I did.

Breakfast was not to make up for the horrible night we'd had. The lady of the house heated up little quiche pies from Trader Joe's and served each of us ONE HALF a quiche along with some fruit and a slice of store-bought banana bread. To give size on the quiche - a whole Trader Joe's quiche is about 5" diameter. I knew it was a Trader Joe's quiche because I eat them regularly. And the lady has Trader Joe's paper bags in the cottages as extra garbage bags so I know she shops there. The banana bread was probably from Trader Joe's, too.

Now, I love Trader Joe's. I do 98% of my grocery shopping there.

But if I'm going to be paying $165/night for a bed and breakfast in Carmel, I want a full homecooked meal, goddammit!!!

This was a snack before breakfast, only there was no REAL breakfast to follow!

After a short time, the lady of the house interrupted everyone's conversing with piano playing right there in the dining room. She wanted to show the Canadian girl she'd been talking with a piece that she'd come up with herself cuz she was self taught on the piano.
We stayed silent for minutes on end while the lady played. As soon as she finished, the Canadian guy excused him and his wife for the day. So I took that cue and excused ourselves as well. The Fresno couple did the same.
My bf said later, "I didn't sign up for that [a piano recital]..." Heh, no kiddin. Although I admit the song was pretty, my growing anger at the lady of the house was overshadowing any desire to give compliments on her self-taught musical abilities.

After we left the main house, my bf expressed that he was so upset about the lack of sleep that he wanted to spend the day searching for another bed and breakfast, or cottage or something to stay in. I told him that since it was already past 11am (normal checkout time), that we'd be forced to pay for the 2nd night where we were anyway, and that the lady could keep our money by law if we bailed. I further noted that the brochure for that place said cancellations were subject to late fee AND five days' notice.

But he was really upset, so I caved for a third time for him. We went looking all over town for another place to stay.

There was nothing.

Finally, after 2pm, I sat down and declared I was fed up with his refusal to see that we were stuck there for the 2nd night. I told him I was about to cry. I told him we need to stop this right now and ENJOY our weekend. I told him he could take a nap but he refused.

So we talked it out and then carried on with our weekend plans.

I brought in a sleeping bag from the trunk of my car for us to use later that night for extra bedding, and then we took off to meet our friend Blark in Monterey for the day, since he lives near there now.

We had a great afternoon, and topped it off with dinner at The Old Bath House.

After dinner, we went out onto the balcony of the Old Bath House, where there were benches to sit on, and acrylic blankets set up for people to wrap themselves up in to watch the ocean.
It was so dark and foggy that we couldn't even see the ocean, but we could hear it, and we could hear what sounded like cicadas, and watching the fog zoom past us and the restaurant was mesmerising in itself. We had a lovely little stay out there until some brash loud drunken middle-aged white idiots came staggering out.

From the Bath house, we drove around Pacific Grove and followed the roads all the way back to Carmel. From there, I put on tights and jeans and another shirt, and my bf put on his bowling shirt. It's the only thing we could do to brace against the ocean breeze, since we hadn't brought any jackets with us.
We walked down to the beach and spent quite awhile staring at the waves in the foggy darkness. It was very special.

We came back to the cottage and eventually got to sleep. The next day, my bf reported that he'd slept a lot better with the new blanket arrangement. We decided not to go to breakfast because of how much it sucked the day before. We showered and packed up all of our stuff and hauled it out to the car.

Around 11am, the lady of the house phoned my bf on his cell to inquire why we'd not made it to breakfast.

She didn't walk out of her house, across the small yard and speak to us in the cottage, no. She phoned him on his cell.

When he told her we just didn't want breakfast, she tried to guilt him by saying she'd MADE all this breakfast and wished we would have told her we'd not be joining.

We laughed at the hideousness of her statement.

MADE breakfast. PAH.

So we went into the main house to turn in the key and again she made a feeble attempt at guilt, and so I told her straight up that breakfast wasn't to our liking the day before. My bf added that it was sparse.

The lady was shocked! Shocked I tell you! "Nobody has ever in four years told me that breakfast was sparse!"

She then tallied up the remaining balance, and we paid her, and then she pressed to know if we'd enjoyed our stay other than a sparse breakfast.

So I drew a deep breath, looked her in the eyes, and in a low parental voice, told her the following:

"You need to make sure the bedding does not contain bug carcasses. We found a huge bug carcass on the red down blanket."

"You need to make sure the bathroom walls are not dripping with brown staining mildew and that the blankets are free of dirt and dust. The striped blanket was full of filth."

"We have allergies!" I exclaimed in a low exasperated tone.

I urged her to go into the bathroom and see the drippy mildew on the walls for herself.

After I finished my lecture, I stared at her wide-eyed shocked expression. My own expression was thin lips, cold eyes and partially furrowed brow - the kind of look that my father gave me whenever I was in deep shit.



She whispered back to me and nodded, "okay..."

And we turned and left.

After we left the cottage, we went out for a real breakfast at Friar Tuck's in Carmel. It's the usual diner type breakfast food, but it filled our bellies and tasted good (except for the hot chocolate which was like muddy water consistency with next to no flavour). Then we did the touristy 17-mile drive. Now, you have to pay $8.50 to drive on this road, because you pass richy rich housing and the ever-so-famous golf course, but you also have lovely views of the ocean, the meadows and woods, and you can oogle the rich bastards' houses.
So, because you pay $8.50 to drive on this road, you want to be able to take it slow and enjoy the sights, riiight? And the speed limit is even posted 15 and 25 MPH.

HOWEVER...time and time again, these assholes would zoom up behind us in their cars, doing anywhere from 35 - 45 MPH, and getting impatient and even mad at us for doing the posted speed limit. We found out that they were racing from numbered point to point to be the first to park at the limited parking vista spots, before the rest of the tourists caught up on the roadway.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the essence of what a U.S. citizen is. They are greedy, they are impatient, they are always looking at the next point ahead instead of focusing on what is right in front of them, and they are just plain assholes.
Once again, I'm sorry to have been born and raised in the U.S..

After I'd had enough of the drive, we got the hell out of there and headed for Santa Cruz. However, the day had gotten late, so we decided to skip Santa Cruz and go for Half Moon Bay to have dinner.

On the way there though, we made a side trip to Brookdale to see the famed Brookdale Lodge. We didn't have time to linger, as we had reservations up in Half Moon Bay, so we went in for a quick look at the dining room, which is situated right on top of a live brook running right through the place!

The place is also purportedly haunted, so I told my bf not to tell me anything about the place so I could see what all I could pick up naturally. I always hate it when I'm told up front about a haunted space. It ruins it for me. Ah well, in any case I at least knew the place was haunted. Whatever...we went inside and had a look at the dining room, and suddenly I was overcome with the need to leave. I kept feeling, "gotta go, gotta go, gotta get outta here, gotta go gotta go NOW". This in turn made me panicky and I said to my bf, "I'd like to leave now, please." I made for the nearest exit and once outside the door, I was fine. I told my bf I couldn't be sure if I was feeling weird walking in on diners (even though there were only two parties seated in the big room) to gawk, or if there really was something there. I let the feeling sit with me for a bit, and then told my bf that it felt as if I were living my last hours and knew that was it, there was no way out, yet I was still trying to think of a way out and growing more frantic about it. I supposed that someone was held there and murdered. My bf stayed silent and said he wasn't going to tell me a thing.

Good.

I'm still not gonna look the stories up either. My bf and I made plans to go back there for dinner and lodging one of these days so we could have our very own ghost hunt. :D

After that, we made our way out of the lovely woods that had led us to the Brookdale Lodge, and arrived just in time for dinner at the Moss Beach Distillery. We both had the Coquille de Mer dish, and savoured every bite. It's our favourite dish there, hands down. We're even on their mailing list to find out about deals, so they knew it was our anniversary, too. They took our picture and gave us dessert on the house. I love that place, even if their associated ghost story is nothing but a gimmick. ;)

Oh, also on the way to dinner, we had stopped at Pigeon Point.
I've decided to finally go ahead and outwardly indulge in my fascination with the mariner's way of life. My paternal grandmother's side of the family consisted of a long line of sea captains, and my dad bought a boat and sailed all over the Great Lakes with us - the same Lakes as his great grandparents and great uncles - and so it's in our blood so to speak, to be fascinated with the water.

While in Monterey, I had bought some sandstone drink coasters, and on them are painted an image of an old sailing ship. Then, when at the Pigeon Point lighthouse, I took many pictures and felt very drawn to it. I've always liked lighthouses. I want to frame pictures we took of the lighthouse and the ocean, and I want to find more pictures of actual vessels my ancestors sailed on and display those, too. Had I the money and time, I would take courses on how to navigate a boat of my own. When I went out on my dad's pontoon (he's retired from 32-foot SeaRays and 31-foot sailboats) on Lake Havasu a couple of years ago, I discovered I still have my sea legs, too. ;)

So that's a Good Thing that came out of the weekend trip, definitely. There's other good stuff, too, of course. A visit to a gallery graced me with such artists as Paul Braslow, Pino Daeni and Alexi Butirskiy, for example. Pino's "Deborah, Revisited" piece nearly made me weep, I swear.