zeptember

Friday, April 30, 2010 was my last day as an assistant teacher in the 1st & 2nd grade classroom. The school and I knew about this for two weeks, but neither side took a lot of action to figure out where to place me come Monday, May 3, after I helped out with that class’ movie field trip.

On Monday, I showed up for work and got through the field trip and was no longer needed by 11:30am. I tried to find the director so we could discuss where next to place me, since I am still not ready to go back to the outdoor classroom.

The director was not in.

I wrote a letter to the director and placed it in her box. The letter detailed the time off I will be needing for doctor’s appointments and my upcoming trip to Michigan to see family I’ve not seen in six years. I ended the letter with a note about needing to discuss my chemical sensitivity issues, as it would affect my next placement.

She never got back to me, so I talked to the school secretary, who told me to phone the director at home.
I phoned and left a message.

She called later that night, and with a weary edge to her voice, told me to just come in on Tuesday.

I showed up on Tuesday, and the director was not there. She never set foot in the office, which meant she never read my letter.

I decided I would see how much I could take of one morning in the outdoor classroom.

I found out that in an effort to accommodate me, the owner of the school had purchased new foam floor pads to replace the old mildewed pads, and had also purchased some kind of anti-microbial light-weight carpet to replace some of the mildewed carpets.

The outdoor classroom is covered by a burlap roof, with a corrugated plastic roof over the top of that. One wall is cinderblock, as it divides the property from the neighborhood behind the school. One wall is old wood over drywall (with an indoor classroom behind it), one wall is plastic sliding doors which separates the classroom from the playground, and the fourth wall is what appears to be the original back of the building, as it is made of brick.

In the Montessori sense of the word, this is not an actual outdoor classroom at all. A true outdoor classroom would be akin to a large backyard, brimming with shrubbery, trees, gardens, flower beds and the like, for children to learn gardening, botany and observation of the natural world.

This is however a first step for the school I work at. This outdoor classroom is basically the art room; it contains all the messy jobs teachers don’t want the pre-kindergarten students doing inside.

As such, this particular outdoor classroom has a lot of tempura paint, a sandbox, a topsoil container to dig in, water pouring jobs, colouring jobs, play-doh, and water colour paints.
Recently added to this classroom is some kind of clay, which has gotten everywhere, because my co-teacher thinks her students should be free in their association with very wet clay - she wants to provide the maximum sensory experience for them, but unfortunately the parents and teachers are complaining about how messy the children and their clothes are, and the brand new carpets are already coated in the stuff.

When I set eyes upon the classroom I have been absent from for two months, I nearly panicked, it was such a mess.

The co-teacher told me she was ordered by the school owner to wash the filthy carpets, so she flung them from the floor and I saw to my horror that the teacher had laid the new carpets on top of the old mildewed foam padding. I told her the old padding had to go. She thought we could just put the new flooring on top of the old flooring for extra padding. I told her no way, sorry, it has to go.

Beneath the foam padding is dirty, dusty asphalt. The teacher set to work sweeping after she peeled up the old foam pads, and I stood back, and wondered if I should just leave altogether.

But of course I didn’t. It’s that whole ‘if I can’t see the damage then it isn’t happening’ type thinking again. I knew full well there were dust particles and major allergens in the air, but I did not observe them directly, so I did not leave the scene.

Once my co-teacher finished sweeping, she flung down a new pack of padded Best Step Anti-Fatigue Flooring for me to help her open. It made a huge dust cloud and I jumped back, covering my face. She apologised and laughed nervously - she did not expect the dust cloud because in her mind, she’d just cleaned.

We set to work opening up the new padded flooring, and immediately I was choking on the chemical offgassing. It smelled like auto tires, but 100 times stronger.

I had already been chemically exposed first thing that morning by walking into two classrooms to drop off clipboards (because parents are still sending heavily perfumed children to school), but unwrapping the flooring put me over the limit, and I developed a headache and sore throat.

I removed myself immediately from the outdoor classroom and looked up the flooring. It is made of Ethyl Vinyl Acetate (EVA) foam, and per the company’s FAQ, they do not use any lead or latex during the production of the foam, and they do not chemically treat the foam, despite the packaging also saying it is anti-microbial and water resistant.

And yet there I was, choking, gagging, sore throat, headache. The company that makes the foam, and my workplace will say I have been accommodated.

The company FAQ also says, “All EVA foam products will have an odor when you initially open them up. This odor will dissipate over time. The odor is not harmful. Putting them in an open air area will help with the initial odor,” and that it is safe for children.

Ugh.

I went to Healthy Child based on the links Susie sent me. They have an article on EVA foam, and they say, “Ethylene vinyl acetate (EVA) has been the safer substitute for PVC for several years.”

At that point, I felt like I’m falling through the cracks. I removed myself from the outdoor classroom and I wrote my director another letter. This time, the letter focused on chemical sensitivity. I included the link to the new fragrance free guidelines at the Centers For Disease Control. I included a link to the Healthy Child, Healthy World website, which has information on getting one’s school on a fragrance free policy.

I didn’t hear back from the director.

I went back to work to help with the lunch rush for four different classrooms, and then took my regularly scheduled lunch break. On my lunch break, I asked teachers where I could assist them that afternoon. Nobody needed me, so halfway through my lunch break, I left work for the day.

Today I tried it again. I showed up at my scheduled time and unloaded children from their cars and saw the children off to their classrooms. After that, I was on my own. The director of course was nowhere to be found once again, and the fragrance overload was in full force in the pre-kindergarten rooms I used to work in all the time a year ago.
The classroom I had spent the last two months substituting in no longer needed me, now that their head teacher had returned from sick leave.

So I went back to the outdoor classroom and asked if I could help set anything up. My co-teacher was fuming that the carpets she’d hosed down yesterday still were not clean enough. She said something, though:

“I thought about what you were saying about chemicals, and do you know what? When I was hosing down the carpets yesterday with plain water, foam bubbles that looked soapy came out of the carpets, and I thought AHA! This is what Steph was talking about! They say it’s not chemically treated, but it is!”

I am so glad someone there is GETTING IT.
I found a dust mask and while my co-teacher re-hosed the carpets, I set to work with gloved hands and hot soapy water to remove the clay-encrusted tables and chairs in the outdoor classroom. Once that was finished, I sharpened all the coloured pencils for my teacher, and found a giant moth and moth’s nest in one of the pencil baskets. Feathers or something flew everywhere. That poor classroom has been so neglected in my absense! I was not wearing my dust mask when the moth’s nest incident occurred.

While the co-teacher took a group out to the front of the school for gardening class, I stayed behind with some students who wanted to do general outdoor classroom jobs, like colouring, sorting, sandbox, pouring, and other Montessori Practical Life and Art “jobs”.

At 11am, I helped my co-teacher close the classroom for the morning so we could transition to the lunch hour. I got through the next hour and a half of what I call The Lunch Rush, and that’s when the director finally appeared to me and called me in her office.

She and the teacher I had been substituting for had been talking. The teacher is back to work but not 100% yet, and can only work half days, so they need me to fill in at several points during the day. We went over the schedule and it takes care of me pretty nicely so that I can remain employed and working inside again. Out of all of the classrooms, it seems that the Kindergarten room, the 1st/2nd room, and 3rd/4th/5th room are the only three rooms where I can function without need of a hazmat suit. I have no idea why parents, children and teachers prefer to bathe in fragrance and chemicals in the other classrooms.

It’s a temporary solution for me, but works for now.

After we got past that schedule, I asked the director if she had time to read the two letters I’d sent her. She said she had not yet touched the letters.

So I rehashed everything - my new regular schedule of doctor appointments for pain management for the endometriosis, and my ongoing limitations that crop up as concerns chemical sensitivity.

Her response to the chemical sensitivity is that the world is becoming more and more aware of environmental issues, and as people become more aware, they might become sensitive to things, but really, people just have to remember that they were always fine before, and nothing is different now except for the fact that we are conscious of environmental toxins all around us.

I sat through all of this commentary, and thought carefully about my words.

When the director was finished, I started at the beginning; I was allergic to a lot of things in childhood, but my mother exposed me to these things despite knowing I was allergic, because she didn’t have the coping tools or the financial resources to help me. The worst thing it seemed I battled, according to my own memory, was second-hand cigarette smoke. By the 1990s, I became chemically sensitive to perfumes and colognes. By the year 2000, I could no longer wear scented oils because of chemical sensitivity.

And that was the extent of it, until September 2009, when within a span of thirty days, I had gotten my house sprayed with Deltamethrin to stop the numerous ant invasions (after trying most if not all available natural remedies), purchased a new foam bed and new foam pillows to try to help soften my and my husband’s severe dust mite allergies, and I began working in the outdoor classroom.
Working in the outdoor classroom also coincided with the regular change of season to Autumn, and the regular cycle of cold and flu season.

A perfect storm for an immunological freakout, if I ever saw one.

I think this got through to my director.

I then mentioned the CDC recently going fragrance free, and the Healthy Child, Healthy World references to creating a fragrance free school.

The director withdrew her understanding and sympathy at this point, citing how enough parents are already upset with the recent change last year to a nut-free school environment, and one parent even took her child to a new school because of the nut-free policy. She does not want to chance, in this economy, losing more parents and teachers for that matter to a forced fragrance free policy.

We ended our discussion with her saying I am one of her best employees, and that she’d hate to lose me, and that she’ll do what she can within reason for the school’s sake… but…
I told her we will both see what we can do, and for how long, and whatever happens, happens.

So right now it’s a battle to get to the end of the school year on June 11 - just over one month - and then I will take the summer off as planned to go to school to finish my head teacher certification.

Sadly, during my meeting with the director, my husband left me a message, which I retrieved right after my emotional meeting with the director:

The departmental head at his work just handed in his notice, and now the future of the entire department is uncertain - it may be absorbed into other areas of the company, or killed outright. My husband could lose his job very soon.

This means I cannot go back to school this summer. It means both of us are likely losing our jobs and we both have to start job hunting quick. It will be a lot easier for my husband to get another job, and he’s the much highly paid head of household, anyway.

And we’ve already got a bunch of money spent and allocated to a trip back home next week to visit my family whom I’ve not seen in six years.

I’m a bit stressed out at the moment, which I know isn’t going to help my compromised immune system. I came this close to breaking my 125-day sobriety streak (sobriety meaning I’m a social-setting alcoholic, not a full time at home, at work, sneaking drinks type alcoholic).

Instead of drinking shots, I ate sushi. :p

It is happening again today. I had a look at the links you sent, Susie - I feel like I am falling through the cracks on it.

Today in an effort to accommodate me, the workplace removed the old foam flooring from the outdoor classroom. They did this because the flooring had mildewed, and I’d complained. I helped my co-teacher unwrap the brand new Best Step Anti-Fatigue Flooring, and immediately I was choking on the chemical offgassing. It smelled like auto tires, but 100 times stronger.

I had already been chemically exposed by walking into two classrooms to drop off clipboards (because parents are still sending heavily perfumed children to school), but unwrapping the flooring put me over the limit, and now I have a headache and sore throat.

I removed myself immediately from the outdoor classroom and looked up the flooring. It is made of Ethyl Vinyl Acetate (EVA) foam, and per the company’s FAQ, they do not use any lead or latex during the production of the foam, and they do not chemically treat the foam, despite the packaging also saying it is anti-microbial and water resistant.

And yet here I am, choking, gagging, sore throat, headache. The company that makes the foam, and my workplace will say I have been accommodated.

The company FAQ also says, “All EVA foam products will have an odor when you initially open them up. This odor will dissipate over time. The odor is not harmful. Putting them in an open air area will help with the initial odor,” and that it is safe for children.

Ugh.

I went to Healthy Child based on the links Susie sent me. They have an article on EVA foam, and they say, “Ethylene vinyl acetate (EVA) has been the safer substitute for PVC for several years.”

I’m falling through the cracks, aren’t I?

I had this whole huge journal entry to post on The Canary Report about being chemically exposed at work today, and just as I was about to finish, I hit the down arrow on the laptop and for some reason that sent a message to the back button on the browser. I lost the whole post.

This, on top of already being near emotional breakdown today from the exposure.

The result was even darker than that. I shut down emotionally, and any idea of self-preservation became for a moment a thing of the past.

This is not me. This is not who I am. This is what a chemical exposure does to one’s mind and body.

Basically, I had over 10 chemical exposures today because an assistant teacher wore a perfume that was very toxic to me. Other women are scented in the workplace, but this woman’s particular perfume annihilated me today, and I became emotionally paralysed to do anything about it. I could not leave the building. I could not go home for the day.

Part of my problem is that I also have endometriosis, and I miss enough work each month as it is due to that illness. Endometriosis takes away 3 months of my life every year.

In September 2009, I became extremely chemically sensitive after a perfect storm in one month: new foam mattress, new foam pillows, deltamethrin exposure, and a new outdoor (moldy) work environment.

The deal going on with me right now is that I can either have endometriosis or I can have MCS. I can’t have both, because then I’ll be completely disabled, and that’s not acceptable.

So I’m doing what I used to do with the endometriosis - I’m in denial. I’m going to work and to my obligations despite being ill, and I’m getting worse.

Now…

What I had saved to my clipboard and ready to paste before I lost the previous post was this:

I don’t want to give ultimatums to people as to what they can and cannot put on their body in the workplace, but that’s how the smoking bans got started, right?

People stood up to those who said, “cigarettes are my property, my recreation, my fun, and you can’t make me stop doing it, even in the workplace.”

The smokers lost the fight.

So I just need to figure out what to say to the perfumed people. The problem is, it seems like I’m the worst of any chemically sensitive person in that place. It would help if there were a whole coalition of us. I will start interviewing co-workers, and see if there’s anyone else suffering silently on this issue.

Self-advocacy. I had to do it with the endometriosis issue. I have to be the one to do it with the chemical sensitivity issue.

I know Susie and others at The Canary Report have given me info on MCS in the workplace before, but I have not held onto it. I did not have it handy with me today in my time of need, so I asked on The Canary Report for people to point me in the right direction again. Hopefully I’ll try to be better at self-advocacy this time around.

Toxic Teacher Syndrome: Multiple Chemical Sensitivity
Ronald Grisanti D.C., D.A.B.C.O., M.S.
Reviewed and submitted on August 18, 2005

A 25 year old women begins her new career as a 2nd grade school teacher. After many of years of preparation, this new educator is ready to serve the public and help her young students learn how to read and write.

Beginning in a newly renovated school is an extra bonus which makes our new teacher proud that she became part of the educational system. Everything is moving along fine.. she couldn’t be happier!

Three months pass by and our teacher has noticed that her concentration is just not right. She has been getting a little “edgy.”

Definitely not like her.

Her husband is concerned that maybe she is pushing herself a little too much and encourages her to simply slow down and pace herself.

As the weeks go by, she begins experiencing headaches over her eyes and the back of her head. The headaches are now occurring more frequently a minimum of 3-4 times a week.

Six months into the school season and her symptoms are getting worse. In addition to her headaches, lack of concentration and irritability, she is now having insomnia, cries over nothing and has noticed an unusual tingling in her face, hands and feet.

Concerned, our once “excited” trainer of children decides to see her family physician. After a brief consultation and a basic physical evaluation, her physician is confident she is again just overdoing it and recommends she lighten her work load.

In the mean time, she is prescribed Xanax, a mild tranquilizer to settle her nerves.

Feeling reassured that nothing is seriously wrong, our teacher returns to her young students and pushes on.

Another three months pass and this time our once highly motivated teacher is only a “shadow” of herself. It takes every ounce of energy to get started in the morning.

She is having greater difficulty preparing her school assignments and simply is just exhausted!

In a state of desperation she is referred to a psychiatrist. He diagnoses her with depression and prescribes an anti-depressant and also recommends counseling.

After two emotional years of trying an assortment of anti-depressants and hours of counseling, our young teacher is stuck in a nightmare.. a web of medical labels… depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, stress … just name a few!

Is It Possible Something Has Been Missed?

Every year thousands of teachers are afflicted with a condition that simply “zaps” the life right out of them.

Most physicians are at a total loss to understand what is behind this mysterious illness.

Unfortunately, many people are looked at as hypochondriacs and continue to suffer year after year.

The Diagnosis

By a stroke of luck and a lot of prayer, our school teacher stumbled on a medical article that “painted” an exact picture of her health challenges.

She was amazed to find that she was not alone and that thousands of other teachers were experiencing the same problem.

She was able to find a physician who was trained in making this difficult diagnosis and learned that she was suffering with something called “Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS).”

Some physicians have coined the term “The Toxic Teacher Syndrome” due to the numbers of teachers suffering with the same symptoms.

What is MCS?

Chemical Sensitivity is not a new term. It has been around for many years. The diagnosis MCS was researched by allergist Theron G. Randolph, M.D. (1906-1995).

Dr. Randolph discovered that many of his patients became ill from chemical substances that were normally considered safe at the recommended dosage. In the 1950s, Dr. Randolph concluded that people were failing to adapt to modern-day synthetic chemicals.

As more research was done on the effects of MCS, doctors suggested that the immune system is like a barrel that continually fills with chemicals until it overflows and symptoms appear.

Potential chemical toxins include:

• Formaldehyde which can be found in foam insulation, plywood, particleboard and press cabinets, fabric finishes, new carpet, polyurethane foam rubber (used in pillows, cushions, mattresses and rug padding), mobile homes, adhesives, synthetic clothes that crease resistant, wrinkle resistant.

• Oil vapors: from oil furnaces, motor-oil air-conditioning filters, electric kitchen appliances such as food processors, blenders, can openers.
• Polyethylene plastics: fake leather, artificial flowers, shower curtains.
• Household chemicals such as dry cleaning chemicals in clothes, mothballs, rug-cleaning products, paints, solvents, stain removers, air fresheners, window washing compounds.
• Polyesters in clothing, upholstery, drapery, furniture and stuffing for pillows and quilts.
• Pesticides residue on cottons and woolens; residues from exterminators.
• Epoxy adhesives on plastics, electronic equipment (TVs, microwaves,) which release gases when heated up.
• Common school paraphernalia such as carbon paper, ink, mimeographic and duplicating chemicals, glue.

How Do These Chemicals Cause Health Problems?

For most people the constant exposure to the above chemicals may not pose any health challenge.

However, an individual may come in contact with a freshly painted room and begin to experience dizziness, nausea, headaches etc..

Usually, however, it requires the constant everyday exposure to various toxins that simply become cumulative and eventually overwhelm the body’s ability to eliminate them.

When your detoxification system is in good working order, it protects you from low level chemical build-up.

It is interested that most of the sixty thousands chemicals in current use today have been developed in the last forty years.

In other words, it seems quite clear that these chemicals are being made at a faster rate than our bodies are able to get rid of them.

Chemicals are noted to injure the part of the cell that produces energy causing swelling of the cell membrane and a decreased ability to pump out chemical toxins.

When this occurs you can experience fatigue, weakness, poor memory, migraine headaches, insomnia, anxiety, etc..

So What Happened to our Teacher?

When the teacher first arrived in her new school, she was greeted with fresh paint, new carpet, new furniture etc.. which was all piled in her small room. This was further complicated by inadequate ventilation.

When the chemical load to her system was too high, some of the chemicals were simply unable to be detoxified.

This resulted in the slow accumulation of chemicals backing up in the blood causing her health to slowly spiral downward.

How Was She Helped?

Our school teacher was thoroughly evaluated receiving a physical examination, blood tests for liver function and a comprehensive detoxification blood test.

This test is used to determine how well her body is getting rid of toxins.

A chemical blood exposure test was also performed. This test is extremely valuable in determining the levels of chemical toxins in the blood.

A checklist of suspected chemical toxins was done as well as an assessment of the schools ventilation system.

The Results

After suffering for a little over two years, her tests revealed the following:

1: The Liver Profile was normal

2: The Detoxification Profile was seriously compromised resulting in an inability to process the load of chemicals.

3: The Chemical Testing revealed high levels of Formaldehyde, Toluene and Xylene

4: The checklist accurately correlated with her high levels of chemicals in her blood.

5: As suspected, although the school received a face-lift with new furniture and a fresh coat of paint, the ventilation system was functioning at approximately 40% efficiency and needed a major overhaul!!

The Treatment

The first step was too begin treatment on improving her ability to detoxify.

The next step was for the school to upgrade the ventilation system and for the teacher to purchase a four stage air filtration system for her classroom.

Finally, our teacher had a comprehensive safe environmental check of her classroom. Chemical toxins were replaced with non-toxic products. This was carried over to her home as well.

The Outcome

Within 2 weeks, our school teacher began to notice an improvement in her health. Her energy gradually increased, headaches were reduced to 1 every 2 weeks, the depression lifted, insomnia was replaced by sound restful sleep.

By the end of 2 and half months, she felt like her old self again and has continued to do well ever since.

Dr. Grisanti’s Comments:

This article presents a real case and demonstrates the sad fact that thousands of people are suffering needlessly.

Unless a physician has studied and been trained in the diagnosis and treatment of environmental illness, many more people especially teachers and other professionals working in similar environmental surroundings will continue to develop MCS and unfortunately be “branded” undiagnosable and sadly a hypochondriac.

The truth of the matter is.. there is an answer and this answer can pull many people out of this nightmare.

References:

1: Rogers SA, Depression: Cured at Last. Prestige Publishing, Syracuse, N.Y., 1997

2: Rogers SA, Chemical Sensitivity, Part I, II, III, February-April 1992, Internal Medicine World Report, 322-D Englishtown Rd., Old Bridge NJ 088857

3: Ashford, Nicholus, J.D., PhD., and Miller, Claudia, M.D. Chemical Exposures-Low Levels and High Stakes. New York: Van Nostrand Reinhold, 1991

4: LoSasso GL, Rapport LJ, Axelrod BN.Neuropsychological symptoms associated with low-level exposure to solvents and (meth)acrylates among nail technicians. Neuropsychiatry Neuropsychol Behav Neurol. 2001 Jul-Sep;14(3):183-9.

5: Courtade S, Giordano-Labadie F, Bazex J. [Formaldehyde related textile allergy in atopic patient] Ann Dermatol Venereol. 2001 Jun-Jul;128(6-7):765-7.

6: Teng S, Beard K, Pourahmad J, Moridani M, Easson E, Poon R, O’Brien PJ. The formaldehyde metabolic detoxification enzyme systems and molecular cytotoxic mechanism in isolated rat hepatocytes. Chem Biol Interact. 2001 Jan 30;130-132(1-3):285-96.

7:Sorg BA, Bailie TM, Tschirgi ML, Li N, Wu WR Exposure to repeated low-level formaldehyde in rats increases basal corticosterone levels and enhances the corticosterone response to subsequent formaldehyde. Brain Res. 2001 Apr 20;898(2):314-20.

8:Pitten FA, Kramer A, Herrmann K, Bremer J, Koch S. Formaldehyde neurotoxicity in animal experiments. Pathol Res Pract. 2000;196(3):193-8.

9: Czap A The ultimate sick building syndrome. Altern Med Rev. 2001 Oct;6(5):447.

10: Kimmel R, Dartsch PC, Hildenbrand S, Wodarz R, Schmahl FW. [Insufficient ventilation as the etiology of illness perception in an elementary school] Gesundheitswesen. 2000 Dec;62(12):660-4.

11: Thorn A. Building-related health problems: reflections on different symptom prevalence among pupils and teachers. Int J Circumpolar Health. 1998 Oct;57(4):249-56.

12: Fischer FM, Morata TC, Latorre Mdo R, Krieg EF, Fiorini AC, Colacioppo S, Gozzoli L, Padrao MA, Zavariz C, Lieber R, Wallingford KM, Cesar CL. Effects of environmental and organizational factors on the health of shiftworkers of a printing company. J Occup Environ Med. 2001 Oct;43(10):882-9.

13: Gericke C, Hanke B, Beckmann G, Baltes MM, Kuhl KP, Neubert D. Multicenter field trial on possible health effects of toluene. III. Evaluation of effects after long-term exposure. Toxicology. 2001 Nov 15;168(2):185-209.

14: Juntunen J, Matikainen E, Antti-Poika M, Suoranta H, Valle M. Nervous system effects of long-term occupational exposure to toluene. Acta Neurol Scand. 1985 Nov;72(5):512-7.

15: Eller N, Netterstrom B, Laursen P. Risk of chronic effects on the central nervous system at low toluene exposure. Occup Med (Lond). 1999 Aug;49(6):389-95.

16: Jo WK, Kim SH. Worker exposure to aromatic volatile organic compounds in dry cleaning stores. AIHAJ. 2001 Jul-Aug;62(4):466-71.

17: Romieu I, Ramirez M, Meneses F, Ashley D, Lemire S, Colome S, Fung K, Hernandez-Avila Environmental exposure to volatile organic compounds among workers in Mexico City as assessed by personal monitors and blood concentrations. Environ Health Perspect. 1999 Jul;107(7):511-5.

I’m still so new to repeated chemical exposures and their affects on me, that I keep forgetting to record each event.

Before 2009, the main things that leave me choking for air are cigarette smoke and perfume/cologne out of a bottle that people wear on themselves.

SINCE September 2009, my body has decided that ANY fragrance added to any product is going to kill me on the spot, and petro-chemicals from gas-powered weed whackers and lawn mowers will do the same.

I am still convinced that the reason my MCS got really bad was because I walked into my home while it was being sprayed with Deltamethrin last September. I had covered my nose and mouth with the sleeve of my shirt but obviously that was a stupid, stupid move. I had protested the spraying to begin with, and after repeated assurances that it would be SAFE and FINE, I caved in to my husband and landlady. And then I was the one to walk into the damned house while it was being sprayed.

I know that in the early days of MCS, it is very important to keep record of what’s happening, so let’s see what all I can fish out of running chat conversations and facebook posts in recent days:

Late March, 2010
My husband bought a liquid soap refill for our bathroom. It was Dial
Soap, which I had used countless times in the 1990s after getting some
body piercings.

I didn’t think anything of it and used the soap to refill my “special”
soap container for work, and off I went. While at work, I used the soap
once, and spent the next 20 minutes gagging, choking and trying to
breathe. I wondered if I had poisoned the kids by being in the same
room with such horrific perfume soap on me, but they were not gagging
like me. I used some kind of dish soap, but it didn’t fully rid my
hands of the toxic chemicals from the Dial soap.

When I got home from work, I told my husband he had to return the soap.
He bought SoftSoap instead, and I’ve been okay with the fragrance in
that. I compared the ingredients in the two soaps and noted that both
soaps contain Triclosan. It’s the fragrance that kills me.

I wrote about the Dial soap exposure in my blog, and Susie replied to it,
providing me with links to the toxic ingredients found in that horrible soap.

By early April, triclosan made it into mainstream news - a friend of mine
posted a Washington Post story about the toxin.

April 2 and April 10, 2010
My husband and I went out for a night of dancing. I was attacked by
toxic cigarette smoke wafting back into the club from an open door
to an alley filled with smokers. I spent much of the night on both
occasions in the back room of the club, where the air was not much
safer to breathe because they were using a fog machine. This is the
only club in town that I have been to where they have a poor setup
for smokers, so I’ll likely not be able to return.

April 20 at 11:03pm
Two chemical exposures that night! I gave a barmaid a hug as we were
leaving the tiki bar, and her perfume got in my hair and on my
dry-clean-only coat.
I’m not bagging on her - she didn’t overload herself with her perfume
at all. Once again, my husband says he barely detected a scent.

We got home and had just gotten out of our car when I was attacked by
someone drying a load of laundry. They were using scented fabric
softener sheets in the dryer and I coughed and gagged and ran in a
panic and nearly fell to the ground.
I wanted to cry.

My husband was impatient with me by this point, because he could
barely detect any fragrance in the late night air. He asked me why I
don’t just hold my breath when I come into contact with a fragrance
I don’t like.

I have explained this to my husband so many times, but he can’t
understand because he has never gone through this.
It’s too abstract for him.

I told him again that it’s not about liking or not liking a scent, that
it’s a toxic chemical exposure. I told him that some people are more
sensitive to chemicals than others and will react. I told him that once
I have been exposed to a toxin, I can’t simply hold my breath and wait
it out, because the histamine reaction, the panic and the choking to
death has already set in.

What really ticks me off the most about my husband’s cluelessness is that he’s not clueless. He’s in denial.
He is severely allergic to dust mites, cat dander from certain breeds of cats (long-hairs, mostly), mold, pollen and grasses. He sneezes repeatedly and coughs a lot and has to take Benadryl, and gets wiped out from the histamine reaction. But he never bothers to try to avoid these allergens in his car, in our home, in the general public, etc. He rarely carries emergency doses of Benadryl or boxes of tissues with him, and just toughs out each exposure.

As I sit here typing up this blog entry, my husband was going through his game shelf and was attacked by dust mites. After his sneezing stopped and he went through several rounds of nose-blowing, I asked him what had just happened. He said he didn’t know. I asked if the games on his game shelf had been full of dust, because while dusting yesterday, I had not gotten to his game shelf.
He shrugged and replied, “probably”.

He’s still sniffling and scratching his nose.

Seriously - I have a request for non-chemically sensitive people and those in denial: Go walk into a tire warehouse on fire while having a conversation with someone.

Mid-conversation, while taking your next breath before speaking, your respiratory tract will be filled with thick, black chemical smoke. Your eyes will burn from the chemical release and the smoke. Your skin will become highly irritated from the chemical pollutants in the air.

NOW, I’m going to tell you to stop acting like a drama queen with all your choking and gagging and running off in a panic, and just hold your breath. Yep! Just hold your breath and keep your calm and walk through this warehouse on fire so that you don’t embarrass me by being such a drama queen.
We’re almost home, after all. See? There’s the exit at the back of the building, we’re almost out.

THERE. YOU CAN BREATHE NOW.
What? You can’t breathe? What’s the matter? For heaven’s sake, get a grip!

April 21, 2010
Walking on my way back to my car after a visit to a new reproductive endocrinologist (for stage III endometriosis issues), I saw a medical supply store. I wondered if they carried respirator masks to help me with MCS exposures. I walked into the shop and asked the woman behind the desk…

…and within 30 seconds was assaulted by her perfume…in a medical supply store.

The store only had N95 masks, anyway. I already have a bunch of those at home.

April 23, 2010
I attended my husband’s band’s new CD listening party at a
warehouse. We were only there for three minutes before I saw
people lighting up cigarettes. “Don’t worry”, I was told, “there’s
an industrial ceiling fan which pulls in fresh air from the front
door all the way through the building, and we’ve just turned it
on.”
I spent the entire evening breathing shallow and choking and
having to run from one end of the room to another to find the
‘fresh air’ spot. One smoking couple made rude comments
about me as though I were not within hearing distance and in
their direct line of sight. I wanted to spend the rest of the night
outside in the chilly night air, but I stayed inside to ‘be there’ for
my husband’s support.
My voice was hoarse and my throat was sore in a matter of two
hours. I’ve been spitting up phlegm ever since.

April 25, 2010 at 1:30pm
A gas-powered weed-whacker was fired up right outside my
open computer-room window. I had gone into the computer
room to ask my husband a question, just as the weed-whacking
began. I rushed to the window to close it, telling my husband we
cannot have that in our home.

The damage was done, however. Within seconds, I was gagging
and had to leave the room, and within minutes I had a sore throat
and headache.
Ugh. Two hours later, I still have a headache - just in time for my
husband to spray his hair liberally with Rave hairspray. I have
asked him several times to stop using that stuff, but he won’t.
I just suggested he try my Regis ‘Pure’ brand hairspray. He said
he’d try it, and sprayed it on top of the already Raved hair.
Honestly, even the Regis stuff makes me gag half the time. It’s
anyone’s guess when I’ll have a good day or a bad day. I’m
still trying to figure out why some days I can handle scents, and
some days I cannot.

Mid April, 2010
I go to the laundromat about once a month to wash delicates or
blankets, but the last time I did, I got really sick from the perfumes
in the laundry soaps and fabric softeners/sheets. I’ll be stubborn
and try one more time and see how it goes, but I’m sure this is
one more thing I have to stay away from.

Late April, 2010
Lastly, twice last week there were two different Latino children in
the class I assist in, who had come to school heavily perfumed.
No one but me is gagging, of course. During the course of the day,
the children will approach me to ask a question or check their work,
and there I was, gagging and referring them to their head teacher
because I could not breathe.
I have noticed that Latin people, Persian people, and mid-east-descended
people in general wear a lot of perfume/cologne. I recognise this as
part of their culture. It’s just killing me is all.