zeptember

Overall, I had a nice weekend!

Friday in particular was great, because I got a lot of good news that day.

I was told that the company that fired me will settle for the last dollar figure I threw at them, PLUS they will revamp their disability training, PLUS they will remove the ‘fired’ status from my record and call it a ‘voluntary quit’, PLUS they will give a good review for me if employers call for reference check.
HOLY CRAP THOSE THINGS ARE THE VERY LAST THINGS I EVER EXPECTED TO COME OUT OF THAT COMPANY. This excites me to no end to know that they will restructure how they treat disabled people.
I can’t help but wonder if fellow coworkers finally found the bravery to step forward and also complained about how they were being treated.

On Friday, I was able to get a wagon and a boombox on loaner from a friend to use on the AIDS Walk, which I participate in every year.
Also on Friday, I went and did what I threatened to do - go looking for a wheelchair. I posted on freecycle.org looking for a wheelchair - someone actually had one right here on the island! I went and picked it up - it fits in the trunk of my car! I nearly cried, I was so relieved at having found a wheelchair, that it was free, that it was local, and that it fits in my trunk. I had no idea the amount of stress that would be lifted from me in just knowing I have a wheelchair handy in case I’m too debilitated at any event now or in the future. It’s not admitting defeat to my illness - it’s being prepared. *big happy sigh* I just didn’t know what a weight that would lift. I’m so happy.

We spent all of Saturday running around town, preparing for the AIDS Walk and a friend’s birthday party. And then we stopped in at the local German restaurant to see a friend who was celebrating her graduation from massage school. It was a coincidental delight to also see my other friend’s friend playing there that night - his band is called the Frisky Frolics.

We got home with sore feet last night and wondered if we’d be up for the AIDS Walk, after having such a long exhaustive Saturday running all over town. Our feet already hurt from that alone.

But we did it - we got up bright and early this morning and packed up my car with the wagon and a portable ipod speaker system that we got (we decided that would work better than the old boombox, and we can use the ipod thingy for the wedding, too), and we drove off to San Francisco for the AIDS Walk.

We met up with our friends - there were only six of us this year but we still got recognition from some of the other walkers who see us there every year, and we got compliments on our team shirts as usual.

I have blisters on my pinky toes after completing the 10km walk, but otherwise my feet and other toes survived just fine, as did my calves. All that walking the baby around town for my job has really paid off!

I had mild cramps on and off today - mostly when I *wasn’t* walking, but taking a rest. George showed up when I got home and went to a friend’s birthday BBQ party. I have been premedicating with Motrin so when the cramps did finally hit this evening, it’s been mild overall.

Two people were at the birthday party whom I wasn’t expecting to see. Well, one of them I should have known I’d run into sooner or later at this friend’s house, but I just wasn’t thinking. The other one - complete surprise - as I thought she’d moved out of state.
I chose to talk to her - we’d been roommates for a short time, and it went really really badly and I left the situation, and we’d not talked since that time. We never really shared the same circle of friends aside from the second person I didn’t expect to see today, because they’d dated at one time - that’s how I came to know her.
Anyway, she had moved down to L.A., then moved back again. Apparently she’s dating someone within my circle of friends, that’s why she was at the party - she was his date. She told me she was a bit unnerved to see this other person at the party though, too. She chose to talk to him - I chose not to.
It was a decision I made on the spot as soon as I walked into the house and we laid eyes on each other - I just decided to keep smiling like I’d been doing when I walked in, and just walk past him. This means I’m still not ready to talk to him after the big fight we had what was it, six years ago now?

I will respect my decision not to talk to him. One day I may be ready again, but today just wasn’t the day. I was never catty towards him - I simply avoided acknowledging his presence and it appears he did the same. Perhaps he did this because he saw my initial reaction - my smile and eyebrows faded slightly before renewing in a “keep it up, just keep it up, keep walking” giveaway.
Perhaps he’s still mad at me after all these years, too. I’d prefer it if it were mutual, honestly. But then I know I’m not one to let go of grudges very easily. Oh hell who am I kidding. I just don’t let go of grudges.
The fact that I know all this means that maybe one day in the not too distant future, I may acknowledge him, should I run into him at this person’s house again. Maybe. We’ll see how I feel that day.

When I got home, I had an email reply to a video I posted on youtube about a year ago. In this video, we’re at the person’s house whom I did not speak to today. It’s Halloween and another friend is telling a funny filthy story. The person whom I am not speaking to is prominently displayed in the video, standing behind the storyteller, grinning.

So weird that I’d get that today on the same day I ran into this guy. I checked out the youtube comments, it doesn’t appear to be anyone I know or anyone in our circle of friends.
Since I do not believe things JUST happen coincidentally, I ponder, and say again, maybe one day in the not too distant future, I may acknowledge him, should I run into him at this person’s house again. Just found out from my man however that he’s still willing to punch the guy in the throat and had to really restrain himself at the same party today. Still overprotective as ever, I see.

Oh! One last thing! This weekend I went to two different places where alcohol was present, and I did NOT take a full drink. I had nothing to drink last night, and today I only had a couple sips of peoples’ homemade vodkas, just to see what each tasted like. Never even came near catching a buzz. Even in the highly charged social situation where I ran into two unexpected people who at one time hurt me (one much worse than the other), I was not driven to drink. I am very proud of myself for this.

Now if I can just get through the wedding and dealing with family without needing to get drunk. Shit, THEY’LL be drunk, they’re promising it. They’ve said it’s not a wedding if people (themselves) aren’t trashed. Emotional cycles with certain people take longer to change than with others.